Театр

Прошёл день, наступил вечер, и вроде как, жизнь наконец приобрела смысл. Зашло солнце, зажглись фонари и настенные лампы, люди заторопились домой, а её ждали у высоких, тяжёлых дверей театра. Казалось, этот вечер станет особенным. Может даже принесет что-то доброе, проложит дорогу к перемирию. В её сердце теплилась надежда, а в глазах горели огоньки. Но, увы, вот ещё один вечер, который так и останется просто "ещё одним".

Вот уже долгие годы она отказывалась замечать, как все вокруг меняется. Пока в один прекрасный день её будто по голове ударили, или землю вверх дном перевернули. И вот она стоит и не понимает, что вокруг происходит, кто это, и зачем что-то ей говорит, да и куда подевались все те, кого она привыкла называть 'родными и близкими'?

Gone

Laying down, sinking into the softness of my pillow and covers, eyes shut and I'm not here at all.

Moving so carefully, taking quiet steps, I won't hear you leave. I won't notice how you take my dream away.

Smiling as I dream, I see valleys of green, I hear birds chirp, and I feel the love from within.

Closing the door, there is nothing left here no more, you've taken it all with you. Oh how I wish to not wake up.

Pretending is all you have left to do. There was nothing and there was all.

Falling harder, falling faster, curing consciousness, my dream devours me and I feel gone.

Whispering goodbyes you are gone and I am left. How do I go on?

AEIOH OO

Saw you the other day, you said my hair was brown and long
I said I wasn't sure why I take time to talk to ya, boy
I saw her call your phone I secretely looked but you knew all along
And Blue Birds didn't sing, so replace my tears with a ring

Go the distance if you please
'Cause your touches are a tease and if you really
want me.
Mister please don't waste my time
Wasn't made to hear you whine
Here it comes... Boy, I tell you

A E I OH OO losers with their fiction
A E I OH OO must be an adiction
A E I OH OO you say, "I see myself in you,"
But you ain't hittin' nothin' with your woe

You called me the other day you said my head was sweet yet cruel
I laughed the whole way through, don't you see the problem is you?
I tried to shop for shoes, you raped my tired head for answers
Chased me down the street... I still don't think the problem is me

Go the distance if you please
'Cause your touches are a tease and if you really
want me.
Mister please don't waste my time
Wasn't made to hear you whine
Here it comes... Boy, I tell you

A E I OH OO losers with their fiction
A E I OH OO must be an adiction
A E I OH OO you say, "I see myself in you,"
But you ain't hittin' nothin' with your woe

One of three wishes....

“ The hardest thing ever is taking chances. Because you can only take so much pain. And you can only get hurt so many times before you create a bubble around yourself to avoid any more scars. And then you end up never really living at all. So we deal with pain. We take chances and we take risks, because either way we’re going to lose, and it’s going to hurt."

Wolves

It's the wolves in sheep clothing that get closest to my heart. But no one hears my cries for help, as they are dry and silent. The beasts scratch, and tear, and bite, and I am unable to move. I am both mesmerized by my own inability to stop it, and stunned with the pain of it all. And I wonder if this time I will get back up once more or lose all my strength and just lay there, bleeding.

The hunt has begun. The blood trail leaves me no chance. I can stop breathing, stop moving, sink into my surroundings, but they will find me, like the wounded get found by their predators. I've become your prey.

This time I really need you more than ever before, and though I've hurt you and you are my reason for drowning in this sea of tears, I'm alone with no hope left than for your rescuing hand. An open wound won't heal but I ask you: Swallow me, save me.

Sometimes you want it so bad you will do whatever it takes. It becomes so unbearable you don't know what to do with yourself. Your mind can no longer distinguish between what's real and what's not. It becomes your drive, the ultimate force that has taken over your soul and body. Thread by thread, it is wrapped around you. The spider spun its web. You are the catch. Prepare to be swallowed.
Swallowed by your own addiction.

Burning bridges

These walls we build. The moats we dig to keep the unwanted away. And when we end up alone we wonder what it is that made us this way. How did we get here? What's better, to be crushed and burned or to freeze within the lonely walls of your overprotected and never ignited heart? Should we waste our time with lies and regret? Why not just keep going, keep moving forward, see the light at the end no matter how dark it seems. Darkness always leads to light. Open up.

Just a day in a life

Me on most days

Go Now and Live

Brasil is Russian

"it's all your fault, you called me beautiful. You turned me out and now I can't turn back. I hold my breath because you are perfect but I am running out of air and it's just not fair.

I'm trying to figure out what else to say to make you turn around this way. I feel like we could be really awesome together, so make up your mind cause it's now or never."

Time

Time slipping through my hands. Slipping through yours. Sometimes it stands still and I am stuck. Stuck in a moment. Rays of light from the window brush my skin and turn into shadows and I'm just a little bit older. Frozen. I feel frozen in the melting heat. A paradox of existence in a time where physical and metaphysical do not mix. You. You just watch. While a battle goes on. A battle of time and life. One wants to stand still, the other needs to go on. An epic with no end, no final battle, no resolution. Only a buildup.

My Inspiration

Take me there...

Brand Called Me

Video for the Brand Called Me

Photograph

My World

Have you ever closed your eyes and been whisked away to another world? A world of your most precious dreams that lures you in, wraps around you, and holds you tightly in its embrace? Its warming touches mystify you, and as you slowly lose yourself, it comes and offers to rescue you.

I've closed my eyes. And I'm there, in my strange and fabulous world. A world unknown to others and yet familiar to so many. I see myself, I see you, I see us. Alone, together, stronger. Miles apart. Miles between seem like a distance I can conquer. And when I get there, I'l walk back through the door, leaving all over again. The unknown is the adventure I seek.

I could lay with you under the bare sky, feeling just as naked, and watch the candles reflecting in the stars above and the earth merging into heaven beyond in one single line. I wonder if when I fall you'll be there to catch me, but when I turn, you begin to melt away - my love, my illusion. And it's not you that I need. It's this world...

I'll stand alone against it. If I fall, I'll land on my feet, like a cat, jumping off at my own risk. Graceful and soft. So safe in its embrace.

I will open my eyes again, when my world lets me go. And I'll know that I can run and catch the wind and if you want, you can too. Together we can make the oceans sing and the air dance around in a million little sparks.

Road That I am

I want you to do something for me.
Sit down and tell me:

Are you ready?

Are you ready for me? And if you are then close your eyes and lets listen to the silence of our loudest thoughts. Let's rejoice in our solitude, celebrate the pain that we cannot feel and give away the love that fills our hearts.

Can you feel me? Can you follow my steps even when I am not there? Will you remember why you came here after I break your spirits and tear you apart? Don't look for love in me. It's inside you. Open up and let it out.

Feel me.

Look back now, see the footprints we have left behind. They are imprints on my life. I am your road and I will lead you if only you don't stray.

Trust in me.

Entertain me with boredom. Amuse me with the ordinary. Surprise me with the expected. And when you do, I will open up the book of my life and tear out the pages that don't tell your story.

Give yourself to me.

I will swallow you. If you let me, I will even give you a new life. Reborn, you will walk a new road, a new path. You will see what I never could, and then you will come back and sit down with me. You will close your eyes, and tell me to close mine, while we get used to the noise of our unspoken words. And in unison we will breath the silence we made up and I will taste your new world, like you once tasted mine.

In between

An odd feeling. As if i am somewhere in between. And its not in between the sky and earth. Just somewhere else. Sometimes it gets cold, sometimes it's burning hot. When I am cold I shiver from inside out. I feel like my bones are shrinking, enveloping, slowly crushing and the pain is almost unbearable. When I am hot, my skin is on fire, I am out of breath, I wake up and gasp. Every cell of my body screams for water, and like a dog, with my tongue out, I wait for relief. But when it comes I know its only temporary, until I'm cold or hot again. Until I am back in between.
(Written on a plane 10,000 miles above everyone and everything).